Getting an “A” in Happiness
I’m on the Dean’s List. Again. My planner is usually packed with meticulous notes detailing my various academic goals. My transcript is nearly flawless. But all of this has come at a cost. Each semester, I’ve sacrificed hobbies, fun, and time with my family to achieve my idea of happiness: academic perfection. Despite my best efforts, my high GPA hasn’t improved my happiness; it’s killed it. I’ve wept over losing four points on an assignment, I’ve lost weight because I didn’t want to take the time to feed myself properly, and I’ve been chronically stressed for the past three years of my college experience.
This last semester, I knew I needed to make some changes to start living a happier life. I had heard about the “Living a Meaningful Life” class through the Ballard Center for Social Impact, and in desperation, I enrolled. The first book we read in class was “Happier” by Tal Ben Shahar. While reading the book, I found a passage that particularly resonated with me. It says,
“Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak.”
As I read this quote, my heart sank, and I realized I’d spent so long trying to achieve “happiness” that I had been robbing myself of it! Instead of working hard in school to learn and grow, I’d been working hard to get a pretty transcript. My goal was superficial, and so was a lot of my college experience. The truth of that moment stung. The worst part was, I knew my focus wasn’t just off with school. I was "climbing aimlessly" in a lot of areas of my life.
Reframing my attitude about school and life has been difficult. However, with the help of my class, I’ve started to make small changes to become happier. I’m recording and expressing my gratitude to others more often; I spend more time with loved ones; and because I love music, I’m even going to audition for the Music Education program this fall instead of graduating next April. As I’ve implemented these activities and others, here are a few things I’ve learned:
I’ve learned that perfect grades won't give me lasting happiness, but time well spent with family and friends does.
I’ve learned that failure can be a good thing.
I’ve learned that making time for the activities I enjoy, like singing and going on walks with friends, helps me be more productive with school in the long run.
I’ve learned that making our lives joyful and meaningful doesn’t mean sacrificing goals, disregarding our future, or getting bad grades. Instead, it means choosing to work towards goals that are inherently enjoyable and meaningful.
I’ve learned that choosing to be happy now gives me permission to be happy in the future.
I’m not perfect at living a meaningful life yet; however, I’m learning to find happiness in each step of my journey.