Lucky Enough to Live

In high school, I developed a vicious cognitive demon: anorexia. This mental usurper and dictator of choice sent me into a spiral of debilitating anxiety, depression, and eroding existence; my heart had physically weakened, shrunk, and shifted out of place, my straw-like hair fell out, sitting was painful because of my protruding tailbone, my blued, coarse nails, sunken eyes, and bulging bones displayed more death than life. I was desperate and almost hopeless.

I was sent to an intensive care facility, 1,500 miles away from home and family. Although it was hell, it saved me –a $55,000 per month salvation. I am here because I was fortunate enough to have a father whose employers had the means and willingness to cover such extravagant costs. I am here as a senior and student-athlete at BYU, healthy, strong, and capable. I am here as an admitted student to one of the top 50 law universities in the nation. I am here because of a privilege I did not earn but was born into. My personal experience, coupled with my studies in sociology, has cultivated a rich passion for activism for low-income families accessing healthcare, specifically mental healthcare.

For a long time this passion was merely present, without action –a force without direction. However, the opportunity to intensively research the inaccessibility of mental healthcare for low-income families in the United States has expanded and deepened the horizons of my understanding and intellectual conversation. Researching, organizing, and deliberating on this issue brief has narrowed the direction I approach my coming law education: activism, advocacy, healthcare, and low-income families. This experience instills confidence and competence in the developed orientation I pursue in my education and occupation.

I am here; I am alive because of unmerited privilege; hundreds and thousands of Americans are imprisoned, impoverished, or dead because of their lack thereof. I cannot close my eyes to the strong association between intergenerational poverty and mental suffering that is partly propelled by ineffective legislation, employment-based disparities, and exhaustive healthcare costs. My past experiences color and light the vistas of their purpose, providing sight and direction; directed research and deliberate action have endowed me with the force and mobility to pursue the trajectory of my purpose.